How To Decipher Travel Brochures

Oh the fantasies a travel brochure can conjure! Beach nearby, garden view room, and sophisticated ambiance. Only that when you arrive, the promised beach is two hours drive away, your room has a view of the dumpster, and children don’t eat for free.

Here’s your guide to the travel brochure language. Of course, I am not suggesting the following translations apply but most often then not, when hotel restaurants say “no tipping-policy,” the staff confuses it with “no-service policy.” ((^_^))

Brochure Term = Translation

1. Old world charm = Don’t expect full bath
2. Tropical = Rainy
3. Majestic setting = A long way from town
4. Options galore = Nothing is included in the itinerary
5. Secluded hideaway = Impossible to find or get to
6. Pre-registered rooms = Already occupied
7. Explore on your own=  Pay for it yourself
8. Knowledgeable trip hosts =  They’ve flown before
9. No extra fees = No extras
10. Nominal charge = Outrageous charge
11. Standard = Substandard
12. Deluxe = Standard
13. Superior Room = Two free shower caps
14. All the amenities = One free shower cap
15. Gentle breezes = Gale-force winds
16. Light and airy = No air conditioning
17. Picturesque = Theme park nearby
18. Open bar = Free ice cube

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2 Responses to How To Decipher Travel Brochures

  1. Gene says:

    LOL, this makes me laugh. Travel brochures love to make use of this fancy terms and newbies like me happen to believe them. Thank goodness for the internet and the blogger reviews, we get real information about some of the hotels.

  2. imriz says:

    the reason why we needed to read personal reviews before jumping on any travel package 🙂

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